Milestone Age 41-42, Part 3

Lightning Crashes.

By the time I reached my early forties, my life was at the height of executive pressure working for an international company whilst completing my CPA degree. My role required frequent travel to the European head office. I recall various trips on the plane studying for most of the way. I also lived on a three-acre property undertaking renovations which filled many weekends.

At age 41, my life required much more extroversion than ever before. The time difference with head office spun into a self-inflicted 24 hour “On call” situation on my part which left me quite wired and grateful for good quality coffee. In hindsight it is easier to see, but I was directed by the demands of my environment, and it required me to grow, assert myself and multi-task like never before.   

“Once you know some things, you cannot unknow them. It’s a burden that can never be given away”

Alice Hoffman

The early forties phase naturally has different external manifestations depending on our circumstances. The underlying growth aspect to note is a major strike of insight that often hits very suddenly or a situation that engulfs us in sudden or surprising ways. We experience ourselves and often act based on a new idea or awareness that resembles a lightning strike after which nothing is the same again. In my case, I had to come to the edge of fatigue and exhaustion albeit my naturally good batteries! I had to somewhat crash and burn to learn about more self-care after a firsthand experience that we are no good to anyone without it.

It is characteristic of this age to push our boundaries due to this new understanding and we feel an often-insatiable sense of having to push the limits and participate to our fullest. The preparedness to take risks or act decisively and with conviction can take us over if we let it. This can sometimes cause regrets later on, especially when we have acted overly impulsive and caused injury, suffering relationships or irreparable damage along the way.

What are we really experiencing at this time? How can we gain utmost advantage from the ignited frame of mind that alights us? What are some considerations to take before we act upon the adrenalin, euphoria and enlightenment at its best? But how do we ensure we do not irreversibly forego consistency and security in our lives for the sake of short-lived excitement?

To answer these questions from within ourselves requires reflection on our previous milestone and how we dealt with its challenges. If suppression has been our option during the years leading up to our early forties, then the symbolic lightning strike may demand our attention with accelerated potency. The interests that impress us would be very magnetic and even after a period of deliberation and restlessness, we often come to the realisation that significant change is inevitable based on what we have seen and learned. The world is often not the same after this intensely consuming phase, but can equally lead to a significant road to fulfilment as long as our approach remains measured in its integration.

Questions may arise at this time such as:

·       Am I living my potential?

·       Am I fulfilled and happy?

·       Are my accomplishments making me happy?

Our experience of this phase is uniquely individual and is depending on other factors which our Solfile App was designed to assist with. During this Milestone Age, Solfile can provide a clear reflection of the stirring and the underlying causes for reconnection with our instincts and clarity. It is our intent to provide reminders of what you often already know deep inside. It assists to filter out the distractions and daily noise that can stress and evade us regularly.

It can be a time of profound insight or a complete preoccupation with a new fascination – physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually. We feel ignited, infallible and somewhat bullet-proof which calls for counting to ten and sleeping on major decisions. Often we feel less emotional due to a strongly abstract and rational approach. Will I regret this decision later on?  

The key point is to identify the striking insight and utilize it as a spark of new creation. Determination can be used to create something new and inspiring that often requires our courage but makes us feel newly alive. If we can balance eagerness with exaggerated haste when making major decisions at this time whilst still considering emotional impacts before this Milestone event has passed, we will have happier outcomes from this phase.

Considering the list of possible experiences below may help to recognize the opportunity to grow significantly and reach more of our potential.

1.     New interests are very common at this time – we may find an illuminating spiritual path, a new career aspiration, new relationship interests, accelerated learning and understanding of truths previously unknown. Unexpected events may alter our direction, new physical conditions may require solving, we may have reduced interest in mundane activities and feel bored or restless. The best integration of the impulse is a gradual and measured approach. Will it matter in five years?

2.     Impatience, restlessness and kneejerk reactions can be an indicator of these insights brooding. Sport, an exercise program and music may help to let off steam and clear the head which can work overtime now.   

3.     Dissatisfaction and frustration may precede giving birth to new awareness as well. Identifying that an area of our life has become unfulfilling may be the result. To some of us it may feel like not being able to face going down the existing path, but without knowing how to solve this initially. If unsure what action to take, slow down and seek plenty of extra information. Engaging in clearing out or reorganizing our work or home space may help to stay balanced and still feel progress. Increased synchronicity or chance events are likely to provide significant light bulb moments.

4.     Our body awareness and connection to our emotional state may alter to the point of feeling much more detached than normal. This may lead to a lack of consideration and mishaps which we may later regret. Often a shake up may just be what we needed to provide the full picture or the dislodgement of a blockage for us to effectively deal with what has been building up.

5.     During this time, it is likely to be exposed to surprising discoveries, unfamiliar moves, racing thoughts, experiences of excitement or a roller-coaster of events which tends to strain our nervous systems or elevate stress levels more than usual. What seems like restlessness bears our quest for fulfilment and the impulses we receive often provide keys to finding it.

6.     Especially if we have young children, we may have a realisation that our own lives have been consumed by the needs of those around us and we feel the need to express our own individuality and follow our own interests as well.

Milestone ages are Rites of Passage times. The early forties time can be a phase of rebellion,  bold attitude and unusual reactions to confining ideas. Whilst our behaviour can have unconventional pitches, often we recall a clarity of mind, after a sense of chaos. At best, we will have learned new significant things about ourselves and found new stimulation that will fill us with new motivation to further explore and our adjustments set the scene for a fulfilling time ahead.

Our team at People Planet Guide has been created to walk alongside you during these times.  Contact me for an “In Focus” session via our Solfile App.  You can download Solfile from our webpage or click on this link: Solfile App to learn about your personal journey right away.

About Sylvia Flimm

Sylvia is the Co-Founder of People Planet Guide; creators behind www.solfile.com.au.

Sylvia has shared her wide area of qualifications and practical expertise as financial executive, health practitioner and counsellor on her dual career path for nearly 30 years. It is her passion to provide tools for increased self-understanding as a key to authenticity and happiness. She works with individuals and teams in the workplace to foster positive interaction and authentic expression which has been her lifelong quest.

Her personal and client experiences combined with extensive work in the operation of Health Retreats are well regarded locally and internationally. Sylvia offers a unique combination   connecting wellbeing with mental and physical health to lead a successful and fulfilling life. She writes intent to help find our unique potential within and discover our special connection to our “soul” purpose.