Milestone Age 35-36, Part 2
A deep Awakening.
Whilst I was fearless and boisterous in my twenties, ready to pursue the right opportunity head on, I noticed by the time I reached my mid-thirties how change can bring significant anxiety and can be jarring. The resultant scars bring wisdom and some inbuilt caution.
At age 35/36, having thoroughly enjoyed working in natural therapies for the preceding 7-8 years, something inside me was pushing me out of my comfort zone which was soon reflected by outside circumstances prompting changes. For a couple of years, I had known inside I needed to broaden my horizons and find a way to combine my alternative knowledge with my finance and business skills.
“Standing Still is the fastest way of moving backwards in a rapidly changing world”
Lauren Bacall
This stirring often brings the incredible opportunity to recontextualise any fears that may have become walls or “no go zones” and thus become limitations. I noticed it can be a strange relief when the very thing happens that you have always feared the most. It became apparent that the fear is much worse than the actual event.
It is characteristic of this age to test our beliefs through experiencing the raw an emotional reality instead of the theoretical concept. It is our own experience that enables us to decide to discard a belief if it didn’t hold up. These circumstances give us a front row seat at building an evidenced set of certainties that becomes a stronger foundation of our faith.
How does this occur? Does this mean our lives turn upside down during this time? Not necessarily. So how do we get the most out of this time? What are the benefits?
An emergence of unresolved stirrings from within may surface which will need addressing. This will occur differently for each person depending on other factors which can be determined individually. Our Solfile App was designed to assist with delving deeper into the individual’s view as well. Solfile is a knowledge tool which helps to identify and empower you to resound your instincts during these times with clarity and reassurance. It is our intent to offer what you most need to know. It assists to make the most of each opportunity especially during more confusing times.
This can be a time of intense emotions or involvement in an all-consuming or unavoidable situation leading to awakenings on multiple levels – physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually.
You become more “You” and this goes with a time of asking “Who am I really” in much deeper ways than before. The false aspects tend to fall away through reprioritizing after profound experiences of connection. More courage and comfort to be yourself is often the result. Previously unrecognized elements of ourselves and our fears will have been dealt with which expands the sense of possibility.
Thinking about how this deep inner questioning felt in hindsight, brings the analogy of a deep-sea diver to mind when diving to the bottom of the ocean and running out of oxygen. The depth of the ocean and inability to breathe represent our deepest fears and we spend a lot of energy swimming with agitation to stay above surface level. Once we surrender and drop to the bottom, we feel terror, but then a standstill and quietness as we slow our breath to make the oxygen last instead of hyperventilating with fear. Once we have reached the bottom of the ocean, we feel like we have conquered our existing barriers by going to the deepest level and resurfacing. We have confronted and demystified what kept us shackled and resistant. Floating back up is peaceful and resembles feelings of inner victory.
What now? We ask this when coming to the surface. Our viewpoint has fundamentally shifted. Our focus may go inward for a while to reorganise what these new insights mean in our lives. It is characteristic to want to spend some time in reflection about the outer expression of these new beliefs. It may take some time to integrate these which is fine.
Here are some possible scenarios to identify what may be worth considering during the mid-thirties Milestone time. The key point is to integrate the changed viewpoints from within. Life will adjust on the outer to reflect this inner transformation. Choices are needed from us once again and it is an exquisite time to go within and understand what our priorities are and what we have faith in.
1. Some of us may experience this inner emotional journey through a trigger such as loss, endings and new beginnings which can leave us disorientated and temporarily lost. It is also a time of new spiritual and psychological insight. These new interests are often significant and seeking further understanding as a result can be career or lifestyle changing.
2. We may be intolerant towards superficialities or become frustrated with the day-to day. This may affect our friendships and social preferences.
3. Significant and seemingly fateful meetings and acquaintances may bring intimacy and relating to a deeper level and becomes an impetus to change our path. It may be a time when involvements become complex and stir up inner value conflicts. On the flipside they spark opportunities for emotional healing and more rewarding relationships. Either way, they may appear all consuming and very intense.
4. We may become acutely aware of an exhausting dynamic in our lives, maybe in form of a toxic relationship, a detrimental habit or an obsessive thought pattern. We may come to insights on how to unload obligations and burdens that are no longer helpful. In the process we may experience conflict and discover deeper reliance on our own inner strengths.
5. After a time of excessively worrying and comparing yourself to others, we may experience such strong situations in your own life that brings a new level of appreciation for what makes us who we are – all our qualities and scars equally.
6. Your connection to nature, places and memories may take a significant overhaul bringing more appreciation for yourself and your previous choices.
7. Events may affect your involvement in the community, food choices due to revised ethics in this area, ways of parenting, your perspective of particular people in your life may deepen and expand – the new perspectives may bring increased empathy and compassion and can lead to a greater sense of fulfilment.
Milestone ages are Rites of Passage times. Taking a bird’s eye view to identify the underlying reasons for our crisis points instead of explaining them away or feeling helpless, puts us back into the driver’s seat! Looking for new meaning and truth is a wonderful result of this transformative time. We may create new or renewed dynamics in our connections. Overcoming self-destructive patterns leads to the ability to see clearer what we believe in. Often this broadens our capacity to make a difference by contributing to new parts of our family or the community.
Our team at People Planet Guide has been created to walk alongside you during these times. Contact me for an “In Focus” session via our Solfile App. You can download Solfile from our webpage or click on this link: Solfile App to learn about your personal journey right away.
About Sylvia Flimm
Sylvia is the Co-Founder of People Planet Guide; creators behind www.solfile.com.au.
Sylvia has shared her wide area of qualifications and practical expertise as financial executive, health practitioner and counsellor on her dual career path for nearly 30 years. It is her passion to provide tools for increased self-understanding as a key to authenticity and happiness. She works with individuals and teams in the workplace to foster positive interaction and authentic expression which has been her lifelong quest.
Her personal and client experiences combined with extensive work in the operation of Health Retreats are well regarded locally and internationally. Sylvia offers a unique combination connecting wellbeing with mental and physical health to lead a successful and fulfilling life. She writes intent to help find our unique potential within and discover our special connection to our “soul” purpose.
